Once you start crossdressing, there’s almost no way to ever go back to trying to being a man. It’s just so much fun. No matter how much you try to purge and take your mind off of it, you will always return. You will feel sexual pleasure and feel good about yourself, then you will feel guilty, then you’ll throw your clothes and makeup away only to spend more money buying it all back. Save yourself the trouble and just go all the way. Live as a crossdresser then transition into a girl like her.